1.06.2012

on letting go...

Just the word rejection stirs up anxiety, doesn't it? Who wants to be told, "no thank you," I think I will pass on YOU. I don't know about yall but Ive had this happen to me several different times in my 30 years and it isn't very fun. What about when its more along the lines of "I don't want/need your business" To me that feels like a personal rejection, but is it? Is that the same as saying, "I don't care for you" or "I just simply don't care for your money?"

Just recently I had someone tell me they no longer wanted my business and I must admit, I felt the sting of rejection. I felt like she had just told me she no longer wanted to be my friend and if Im honest it kinda hurt. You see, I thought we weren't just client/proprietor friends but we were see you at the pool, catch up on life, keep up with each others kids, lots of mutual friends-friends. I mean, she gave me a baby present when my 2nd son was born. I don't know about yall but I don't give randoms baby presents. So needless to say, it stung a little...I tried everything in my power to make the situation right, but there was little response and so Ive had to just walk away and respect her wishes.

If there's anything I've learned when relationships end, its that you just have to let go...there's a tendency to think that you can make/force it to work, if you try hard enough then it can fixed, its that whole "if-then" thinking that Im sorry to say, just isn't a way to deal with relationships. I don't want to have "if-then" relationships, relationships built on contingencies, on tit for tat or performance, because frankly, that ain't real and if thats how a relationship is working then its probably best to let it go. Don't look back, don't beat yourself up over it, do the best you can to make it right, seek advice or counsel, admit your fault and apologize; if that doesn't work, then you've left all your cards on the table, you put your heart out there and its ok to walk away.

There is a sting when it comes to rejection, but I guess in this life there are just going to be people who don't like you or with whom you just don't click...let that be ok, its not a personal slam, its not a reflection of who you are, it just simply is the way it is, do yourself a favor and let it go.
-B

3 comments:

  1. Amen, B. It's tough. It's another opportunity to relate to and experience the person of Christ. We reject him way too often! And he takes us full circle, setting an example for how to take it and love back. I told E the other day -- every time I read one of your posts, it makes me want to just sit and talk to you for hours! Can't thank you enough for putting your heart on the line on behalf of all of us who can relate but are not quite so vulnerable! -Ginny

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  2. b...
    I completely agree. I have recently experienced a situation similar with a couple of friends, actually. it has been a difficult road, but the Lord has deeply and faithfully blessed me in my letting them go.
    thanks for this word today. affirmation is this area is always a blessing to me.
    a dear friend advised me not long ago to live life alongside friends who celebrate me not tolerate me. wise.
    I hope at some point I get to meet you, b. I only got to meet e and j's when I popped into sc.
    cheers.

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  3. Kim, I love that advice- live alongside friends who celebrate me not tolerate me. So so true and words to live by! Thank you for sharing that with us!

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