"Sometimes to lose balance for love is part of living a balanced life."
- Ketut...Eat, Pray, Love
So, I've been digesting this thought for several weeks now and I think I kind of am starting to wrap my mind around it! For those of you who don't know me I am mother of a 2 1/2 year old and a 1 year old and have one on the way. Needless to say life is full and crazy and tiring! It is wonderful and I am so blessed, don't get me wrong, it's just alot right now. I had someone tell me recently to remember that I chose this, that it was my decision to get pregnant, to have the kids so close together. And, they were right, it was definetely a choice my husband and I decided to make together, planning for our family and future and there are zero regrets! As I have been thinking about that comment though I have been thinking about my life choices in general and have come to realize that life is a compilation of choices, friends, boyfriends, colleges, husbands...and none of them are easy, all worth it, some wonderful, some not... all choices we make. The idea that it was your choice, you just need to suck it up and deal sounds right but somehow just isn't! The truth is, and I know everyone who is married or has kids would agree, if you could see just how hard it is to maintain a relationship or to raise a child first hand, would anyone do it? But we do because we fall in love, we lose our sense and sensibility and make the choice to leap into the unknown! We lose ourselves in the ideas and visions of new life...
and that is a beautiful thing!
I think what I am realizing and what Julia Roberts realizes in the movie Eat, Pray, Love is that somehow in the midst of all of this we have to hold onto us! In this state of life I am in I feel like I am a big pile of everyone elses needs... and in the midst of it I have disappeared...and this is not good! Yes, I made the choice, yes I do have to deal, but that does not make it easy to maintain it all and maintain me! I am no yogie, but I now know that in order to be the best me for me and for everyone else I have to find my balance! My center is Jesus and he holds it all together, but as far as my day to day goes I have to find a "Space" for me!
So, yes, "Sometimes to lose balance for Love is part of living a balanced life!" And I have lost it for love, (and hope to continue to!) but I do need to regain that balance for me! Something tells me I'll be realizing and telling myself this for the rest of my life! ha!
Ironic isn't it that this quote is hanging above my attempt at a visually pleasing toybox! As my mom would say... such is life! -E